Kill two birds with one stone
by Kurenai0111
Summary: Yukine had always wanted to learn more about his master's past. About his feelings, his thoughts, about that world of his that he only saw glimpses of and that Yato never shared. Yukine is simply curious about Yato's life, and Fujisaki decides to help Yukine know in the cruelest way possible.
1. Chapter 1

**All right, I have a few announcements to make. First of all, I'm sorry to anyone who has been waiting the next chapter of Ten Days. I... I made the mistake of publishing something before it was complete. I thought that I could finish it, but... apparently not. I promise you I didn't forget this story, and that it WILL be updated. It's a promise.**

**It's not the case with this story though. I just finished it, so the updates will be more regular this time. Maybe one new chapter each week? Or every three days? I don't know. I will see. And it depends on you too.**

**I have also decided to answer to each review I will receive, because I think it's important to do that and you also need to know how much your support means to me.**

**...Well, I think I'm done. On with the story, and I hope you will enjoy it.**

* * *

Today had looked like it would've been such a great day.

Yato detached his gaze from the unending grey sidewalk stretching ahead to look up at the sky above him.

It was such a beautiful day; Yato couldn't find anything that could convince him to label the weather as less than ideal. Just the right amount of warmth emanated from the big bright sun above him, all the trees' leaves were bathed in its light and looked like they were shining. The sky itself had nothing to be ashamed of: not a single cloud in sight, a perfect blue hue which felt like it was protecting the whole world.

Seeing the world so beautiful only made the knot in Yato's stomach tighten. Actually, he'd sensed that something would go wrong today the very second he stepped outside. Centuries of experience had honed a sixth sense in him, making him able to know when something terrible would happen.

_He guessed this sense appeared with Sakura. _

_He'd been so certain that he shouldn't reveal her true name to her. Seeing her death for the first time had left him out of breath on the ground, shaking and terrified, but once he'd recovered from his shock, he locked the memory in the deepest place in his heart and promised himself not to think about it ever again, even less tell her what he saw._

_He didn't want to see Sakura as sad as she'd looked in her last moments. He _never_ wanted to see her sad._

_He intended to tell Nora that he didn't want to reveal her true name, but a few thoughtful words from her had succeeded in making him change his mind entirely. Not only Father said that it was alright to tell her – if Father had said that, then it was _true_, definitely _**true**_ – but he also made the naïve mistake of trusting her when she said it was fine. She was his family, she couldn't wish him anything else than happiness, thus there was no logical reason not to trust her._

_Nora's words, along with Sakura's eyes which were sparkling with curiosity coaxed him into revealing the secret. He closed his eyes after Sakura had gently taken his small hands in hers and mumbled her human name._

_He didn't open his eyes and couldn't hear any of her words or Nora's over his own beating heart, but he hoped Sakura wouldn't be too sad. _

_But if she was really, then it wasn't such a big deal. He would bring her as many little frogs and pink flowers and sunsets as necessary to bring a smile back to her face._

"-don't you think, Yato?"

He growled silently.

Gods, he genuinely _hated_ it. He _hated_ this feeling, _hated_ feeling like everything would fall apart soon and he'd be powerless, unable to protect the kid next to him. When had he exactly been capable of protecting him? If he hadn't turned into a hafuri, then Bishamon's sword would have sliced him to pieces without any chance of return.

If he hadn't been this strong – he supposed what he lived in his previous life had been a good training - then the blow he had received from Chiki at the hospital would have shattered his name, along with his master's heart.

"Earth to Yato, hello?"

Father had never bothered hiding that he thought Yukine and Hiyori were a bad influence on him, repeating that they were making him go against his true nature of magatsukami and had filled his head with silly ideas of freedom and happiness and family.

_The_ fools. _Yato only had one family, and it was him and Nora._

It was obvious that he thought Hiyori and Yukine should be eliminated to have his creation back – gods, _gods_, he didn't want to lose his kid, not _his_ _Yukine_ – and Yato was so scared.

He felt horribly tense, all of his muscles cramped to the point it was painful to move forward. A step that he made too fast brought acid along with other things supposed to be in his stomach up to his throat and almost slipping out of his lips had he not closed them tightly, making him feel so close to throwing up.

_"Yato!" _yelled Yukine, infuriated by his god's lack of response. The tension in the god's body entirely melted away at this voice.

Yato, startled by the sudden voice at his side, snapped out of his bleak thoughts to look at his kid. He hadn't even realized that he'd been walking alone since a moment, the fact that Yukine had stopped walking going unnoticed by the god.

A pearl of sweat rolled down his temple at Yukine's downright furious expression. He wondered where he would hit him, because such a furious expression _meant_ that he would be hit. "W-Why are you scowling at me like that?! I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Yeah, not doing anything is _precisely_ what I'm reproaching you, _Yato_! Maybe I'm angry because I'm an annoying and sarcastic little brat, as you say often, or maybe it's because I've been trying to communicate with you for... what, almost ten minutes? Listen to me when I speak to you!"

Yato stayed impassive at his kid's expression before smirking slightly, hoping that some teasing would calm his racing heart and soothe some of his melancholy. "Sorry, for not listening to you, boss. I won't get my Ayakashi quota tripled because of this, will I?"

Yukine didn't hit him at this. Confusion made Yato blink at his kid, whose expression shifted from annoyed to heartbroken in a matter of a few seconds. Nothing on his face showed even an attempt to hide his concern, and he looked away. "Yato, are you all right? You... You've been really silent since we left the house, and you look terrible. Like you're... Like you're going to cry, actually."

The god passed his sleeve on his eyes as quickly as he could when his shinki's words finally reached his brain. He sniffled and jammed his hands in his pockets. "Don't concern yourself for me, kid."

Yukine stayed at his right, hoping his presence was a tacit support to the god, but he was still very obviously waiting for the _true_ answer that Yato didn't want to give.

He was sure Yukine didn't want to know why he wasn't fine. There was too much going on, and it was nothing Yukine had to know.

However, he knew that he wasn't satisfied with his original version of the traditional 'I'm fine', and a pinch to his heart when the silence started to last too long reminded him that he had to answer something. A not too obvious lie, or a half-truth, something. "...I was really scared when you came back hurt," he chose to say with a trembling voice.

No, he _wouldn't _cry again. There was no reason to cry, because this time his shinki hadn't died because of his mistakes, but his brain had that tendency of making the scariest relations between all of his traumas.

He hated that, too.

A bunch of young children playing together ran next to the duo. Yukine guessed it was a good day to do something funny outside, if you were not burdened by the kind of problems Yato had. "It's not such a big deal," answered the child without looking at his master. "You shouldn't worry too much about me. I'm almost healed anyway, and I promise I will tell you if anything happens."

Yato sighed and took Yukine's face in his hands, looking at it with a mix of fondness and sorrow. Apparently the shinki had understood that it was important, because he didn't try to get free from his grip. He let Yato look at his face a moment and run his thumb on his round bandaged cheek before he let it go. "You're really weird," he grumbled once he was free, pink dusting his cheeks.

Yato let out a hearty laugh, and Yukine made the mistake to assume it was genuine again. "Hey Yukine, I've been thinking about something lately. How about learning how to play a musical instrument?"

"What?"

"It could be funny! There are tons of instruments out there that you could play. Piano, guitar, flute... It'd be cool to have someone who's a musician in the family. I'm sure you would do great; you're a genius, after all!"

His smile was genuine this time at the sight of Yukine's cheeks burning with embarrassment. The kid didn't seem to be able to find his voice. "Don't you think it would be a good idea? We could organize concerts and stuff, and I promise you will get all the benefits of it."

Because it was obvious that he wasn't like his kid. He had stopped dreaming that he would accomplish something great one day, that he would be remembered for something he could do particularly well. His only talent was killing and destroying, something not really appreciated in the human world.

But Yukine could. He pushed away the image of Sakura and her death to picture his kid, alive, eyes closed in deep concentration as he'd be playing an instrument in front of a public amazed by his talent and congratulating him without end.

And he would be somewhere in the public, listening to their acclamations, prouder than he'd ever been. He wondered if it was possible to feel prouder than he already felt, though.

"Even if he became musician, it wouldn't _count_. It's because he isn't really part of the family. Our family is composed of me, you and Mizuchi. Did you forget that, Yaboku?"

Yato froze immediately. Father came out of the shadows with a sly smile on his face, a hand on his hip and the other holding Chiki on his shoulder. It's that hand that suddenly made the god's respiration accelerate. "What's with that rude expression? Hello to you _too_. Yes, Mizuchi and I've been doing great, and I'm glad to see you're fine."

"What are you doing here?" he asked with his steadiest voice, taking Yukine's small hand in his own without allowing Father to be out of his sight, not even for a second. He needn't more time to pierce Yukine's name with Chiki.

"Oh, nothing special..." he lied with a smile. "I just wanted to see your Yukine, checking if he were alive and stuff. It would be a shame if Mizuchi had killed him."

He took a step forwards as he opened his mouth to say something else, but Yato tightened his grip on Yukine's hand and stepped in front of him. "What do you think you're doing? _Don't. Touch. Him."_

Fujisaki blinked at Yato. He looked downright murderous, and he realized that this was how Yato should always look like. "When exactly did you become so protective, Yaboku? I never saw you act this way with Mizuchi when I threatened to punish her."

Yato tightened his lips. "What, don't you want him to know what's going to happen to him next? I was just warning him. I'm not wholly evil, contrary to your belief."

"_Nothing_ will happen to him, so go away. _Right_ _now_," growled the god, tightening his grip on Yukine's hand a little bit more.

"Otherwise _what_, Yaboku? You'll make me leave by force? Please. You haven't been able to do anything to me all this time, so what makes you think that this will change? You will _always_ be powerless, whether you want it or not and whether you have a hafuri or not."

"To think that you turned into a hafuri for your master..." He casted an almost pitying look at the shinki behind Yato, who looked livid. "Trust me when I say that: you don't really know who you serve. He is not the nice Yato you think he's truly... And I believe that the reason for this is that you wouldn't like who your master truly is."

Yato hated that his words rang so true, hated the fact that he was right. Father was **always** right. "I chose to serve a person, and that person's name is _Yato_," answered back the shinki, stepping out of Yato's shadow without letting go of his hand, sensing that this time it was his turn to protect him. "Don't you _dare_ talk to my master like that, don't come pollute our view with your stray, and don't come to mess with our heads just for fun. Leave us alone now."

Fujisaki shot him an annoyed look, and Yukine could've sworn he saw something dark and malicious pass in his eyes for a split second. It left as soon as it came, but Yukine still felt a shiver run down his spine at its intensity.

Yato had barely heard any of these interactions, though. Lost in his thoughts once again, he snapped out of his trance only when Yukine gently shook his shoulder with his free hand. "Hey Yato, it's alright. He's gone."

He let out a shuddering sigh that he didn't realize he'd been holding and nodded. He'd looked pathetic in front of his own kid, and forced him to protect him. It wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to happen, he was supposed to protect him all the time-

"Y-Yato, my hand...!"

The god let go of him as if he'd been burned. Yukine stepped back and attempted to massage his hand, wincing when he saw how red it was.

"Gods..." breathed Yato, immediately taking it in his own hand to look at it from closer. Yukine let out a whimper. "I'm sorry, I-I didn't realize I was holding you that tight. Damn, it looks like I broke it."

"You're exaggerating," he laughed with a brittle voice, although he thought that the god had come pretty close. "It's nowhere broken. Yeah, it hurts now, but it'll pass."

"Let's go home. We should put some ice on it before it starts inflating."

"No, it's okay... I-I told you it was fine. We should hurry and go to the shop before it closes instead." Yato exhaled soundlessly, and Yukine didn't understand why a hand was affecting him so much.

He reluctantly let go of him, but then turned around and crouched, his back facing Yukine. "Climb up."

Yukine rolled his eyes, wondering if it was another attempt for the god to cheer him up, or maybe apologize for his hand. His answer came quickly, monotonous and annoyed. "No thank you."

Yato rolled his eyes and hoisted him on his shoulders before he had time to blink. Yukine's reflexes made him grab his god's shoulder with one of his hands, and Yato gripped his kid's wrist above the hand he'd just hurt tightly so that he wouldn't fall. Feeling a little bit of warmth at Yukine's happiness in his chest was very often what he needed to feel better.

Honestly, making someone else feel happy lit his heart up like nothing could, because it made him believe that he was good at something else than killing and destroy other people, even if it was during a short moment. It was true, but even more with Yukine.

His kid was special: Yukine was _everything_, his kid, his entire world. Nothing could make him feel happier than seeing a smile on his face, whether it was a genuine grin or something shyer and embarrassed at the corner of his lips. "Put me down, idiot! You're gonna make us fall-"

Yato grinned at him. "Hold tight Yukine, okay? Just warning you, because I'm going to dash right now!"

"W-Wha- _Yato!"_

Fujisaki looked disapprovingly at the duo as they zigzagged unnoticed between the persons of the Near Shore and patiently listened to his creation's laughs as he played around with the person he called his kid.

Yato was _his_, his creation, his god of calamity and the being born of his wish to cull the herd. Being a magatsukami was a fate he couldn't outrun no matter how hard he tried, and a fact that no shinki he named could ever change.

And he thought it was high time Yukine learned that.


	2. Chapter 2

Yukine wondered what was going on.

He shifted and turned uncomfortably in his futon for the umpteenth time this night, unable to find sleep. His incapacity to find sleep might have something to do with the foreign presence in his chest, with the painful stream of emotions shifting and moving in his chest that wouldn't stop hurting him. Thankfully, it wasn't anything too painful, but he found himself unable to close his eyes and just ignore it.

He wanted to talk to Yato, or maybe stay by his side until he felt better, but the latter had one of his arms cushioning his head and looked like he was peacefully sleeping, with deep breaths and an uniform and silent respiration. Yukine debated the issue a few seconds more because he knew he couldn't sleep like this, but given the mess that had happened a few hours ago with his father, he guessed it was better not bothering him. He needed the most rest he could. It wasn't worth bothering anyone in the house, anyway. It would surely pass.

He sighed, and turned again, wondering what was making his stomach churn like that. He was feeling fine – he'd talked a little bit with Yato about his father - so what could it be?

After this internal debate that had just let him absolutely nowhere, he chose to busy his relentless mind by identifying the different patterns on the ceiling, hoping that would bore him soon enough for him not to fall asleep too late.

* * *

Yukine woke up from his only hour of sleep feeling _exhausted_. He'd never felt his body being so deprived of energy, and never thought someone alive could even feel like this.

His limbs felt like they were made of rock and steel, not flesh and bones. Even opening his eyelids when Yato shook his shoulder to wake him up so that he would take his breakfast ended up being a gargantuous task.

The god had asked him if he wanted to sleep more, but he yawned him something like 'It's fine' and got out of bed despite his body's protests, hoping going through his usual morning routine would wake him up a little and make him feel better. No such luck; no amount of cold water seemed to be effective today.

He'd never have thought it was possible to be so _fatigued_. He felt like his knees would buckle under his weight at each of his steps and his eyes would close by themselves at any moment and his balance would fail him to make him crash against a wall. He wondered if he had caught a cold or if he was feverish, because he was feeling _awful_.

Worse than the day before.

He slumped next to the table when his feet had finally dragged him there, his mind still processing how he had managed do get down the stairs without falling. Yato's sharp eyes soon noticed something was wrong. "Yukine, what's wrong? You're sick?" he asked, the spoon in his mouth making his words be almost incomprehensible.

The shinki stayed dazed and silent, and Yato wondered if he'd even heard the question. The back of a cool hand found a way to his forehead through his messy fringe of hair, and Yukine let out a sigh of relief while closing his eyes, leaning into the touch. Yato's frown deepened, and the hand stayed here. "You don't have a fever, though..."

He leant on his god's shoulder a little bit, then more, and more until he was practically starting to sleep on it.

Kofuku would've liked to chuckle at the sight, but she wasn't naïve enough to think Yukine's pallor could be explained through tiredness alone. She leant towards the kid, and he almost could feel her pink locks tickling his neck when she spoke. "Say, are you sick, Yukki? You can rest upstairs if you're tired, you know..."

"I can bring you some medicine and your breakfast too. Sleeping looks like it would be the best thing to do now. You look like you didn't sleep during a week," said worriedly Daikoku.

Yukine blinked twice, wondering when he'd arrived downstairs. Then the situation caught with him and he shrugged off Yato's shoulder as if it had been poison, waited for his vision to stop swimming in front of him and he laughed awkwardly. "N-No...! I-It's really not a big deal, Kofuku-san. And Daikoku-san and Yato too, don't worry... I-I just didn't sleep well this night, maybe that's why I look funny. It will get better once I've eaten, I'm sure. You shouldn't concern yourself like this."

Yato peered at his kid, at his white face and his lost expression before sighing. His eyes were unusually serious and sharp today. "You should have woken me up if you couldn't sleep. It looks serious."

"I-It's really fine, Yato. There was no need to wake you up."

"Doesn't look like it. Your eyes are all red, Yukine."

Were they? He didn't remember having cried, though. "But I'm fine. I assure you, Yato. Trust me; it will be better after I've eaten." He hoped he'd been convincing enough.

Yukine looked away from his god's particularly thoughtful expression. His heart tightened a little bit, and he wondered if Yato thought he was hiding things from him again. Maybe he was angry because he'd not waken him up that night when he wasn't feeling good?

The god simply rose to his feet and ruffled his hair slowly. "Wake me up next time you can't sleep, kid. Stay here, I will get you breakfast."

He had thought that Yato was annoying when he was worried, but it was _nothing_ compared to Hiyori. She'd come to visit the second she heard Yukine's hoarse and drowsy voice, and wouldn't stop fussing over him when she saw how pale he was.

Prompted mostly by her insistence, but also by Daikoku's, Kofuku's and Yato's, he swallowed some bitter medicine pills – he wondered what he wouldn't do for her, _really_, because they tasted absolutely _awful_ \- and went upstairs to get some shuteye during an hour or two.

_I never thought Hiyori could get so pushy when she was worried. I swear, her children are going to live hell if they're sick one day, _he thought amusedly before drifting off to a peaceful sleep as he closed his eyes.

* * *

_He cursed his brain, making him dream about scary imaginary things. _

_He had no idea of where he was exactly. The place he was wandering in was perfectly unknown to him; a thick forest, dark because of a night sky, with cold mist barely floating above the bushes. The place looked magical and eerie, and he began to wonder if it was some place he'd seen before in a children's book. It certainly did bear some resemblances to it._

_He decided not to think much about it. He was dreaming, lost somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness, so he didn't spend more time trying to figure out where he was. The most important thing about that place was that it was dark and that he needed to find Yato there, or the Yato in his dreams that would protect him from this suffocating darkness like he always did._

_"Let's play, Hiiro!" _

_He let out a breath of relief at his master's voice, which was close enough for him to hear it but not close enough to hear what he had just said. He advanced confidently and blindly towards it, longing to see a familiar face._

_He advanced in the unknown forest slowly and cautiously, carefully listening to any sounds around him. But he couldn't hear anything, save his slow breathing and the sound of dead leaves crunching under his shoes, so he assumed it was safe to advance. _

_All his precautions didn't prevent him from tripping several times on some thick trees' roots, or head-butting some trees that he hadn't even noticed they were here. After ten minutes wandering in it, he didn't mind saying that he'd had enough of that forest in which he was walking without getting _anywhere_, and was about to cry out his frustration when his master's voice rang out again in the silence._

**"Die already!"**

_The yell made him jump, and he whipped his head in the sound's direction. His surroundings suddenly became clearer, all the white mist disappearing and the sky lighting up all of a sudden as a sort of path appeared on the ground._

_He didn't even take the time to decipher his brain's actions as he ran towards his master._

_He saw Yato – not Yato, it was _Yaboku – _standing in the middle of a bloody mist, corpses and even pieces of person strewn on the ground there and there._

_He couldn't see his face, and his was infinitely thankful to his mind for this. A movement, or maybe a whimper that was too loud in the deathly hush made him tear his eyes away from his god. Not too far from Yato, a man who was already bloodied was trying to crawl away from the danger – he _hated _referring to his god as a danger, because it wasn't Yato, yet it was him._

_A light and childish laugh that would forever stay in his mind elevated in the air. He mumbled something that Yukine hadn't heard over his too loud heartbeat, and a black-haired girl soon appeared next to him. She, too, was looking at the man like she was mocking him. _

_Like all his efforts to live were futile, like he was trying to run away from his ineluctable fate that was death. _

_He was practically bleeding out and very obviously missing an arm, along with several of his fingers and looked like he was at death's door, but he still continued to crawl. "M-Monsters... He is a-a-a monster... S-Someone, a-anyone... Help m-me...!"_

_"How should we kill him, Yaboku?"_

_"Let's drown him!" he said with an amused voice. "I never tried to kill someone like this. Father told me that when people can't breathe, their faces get all purple! If I bring purple ears to Father, he will be happy!"_

_Nora nodded next to him, although Yukine didn't see it because he had bent to throw up at both the horrifying sight in front of him and the pungent smell of blood. "He will certainly be rejoiced. But I will do it. You should go kill the person who's been spying on us all that time." _

_"Really? There is someone? I didn't notice there was, though..."_

_"You can be so oblivious sometimes," she sighed, poking his forehead like she was a big sister teasing her brother. She advanced towards the man, who started to cry and crawled faster. "I will take care of him, so hurry up, Yaboku. If we don't hurry and bring him back all the ears, Father won't be proud of us."_

_The god rushed in Yukine's direction, and Yukine, who had fallen to his knees by now, shivered more. He didn't want to make noise and be noticed by Yato, because whether it was a dream or not, he didn't want to die, and even less at Yato's hands. _

_But now that he'd seen this, there was no way he could just stop hyperventilating and get his feet to work so that he would escape._

_Like they were playing a game of prey and predator, Yato's footsteps lightened and slowed down. His voice was now sweet and cooing, like he was trying to convince a spooked animal to stop hiding from him. "Where are you? Stop hiding, I know you're here. Come out, it will be easier for you."_

_The sound of Yato's footsteps became louder and louder, and so did the sound of Yukine's breathing that he tried to muffle the best he could by covering his mouth. His heartbeat accelerated and wouldn't stop doing so, until it stopped altogether when two blue shining orbs appeared a few centimetres away from his face._

"Found you!"

* * *

Yukine woke up with a deafening yell that made jump every single living person downstairs. Plates fell from Daikoku's hands and shattered on the floor along with Yato's heart, and by the time they had all arrived upstairs, the shinki had locked himself in the bathroom and was curled up in a ball against the door, trying his hardest not to throw up at what he'd seen and burst in tears and panic more than he was already doing.

Unsurprisingly, the first voice he heard was Yato's. He was pounding on that door like his life was depending of it, and Yukine would have appreciated the gesture of worry if the hits weren't reverberating in his skull. He felt like he would _explode_. "Yukine, are you alright?! What's going on? Why can't I- _Open the door_!"

He started to yell when the pain became unbearable, and he immediately felt that it was far from arranging things. He felt like someone was gleefully hammering his skull again and _again_, almost hearing the bone crack under the hits, and his heart swell with all sorts of painful and dark feelings that existed until he couldn't breathe anymore.

Then he indeed heard a crack, but he didn't know if it was from his name or from the door Yato had surely broken by now. Couldn't he _feel_ that Yukine needed to be alone and calm down for a few minutes?

The pain in his heart intensified when his silence lasted for too long, tearing a loud primal wail out of him. Yato's hits were now strong enough to completely destroy the door now. Yato cried his name, and ordered Daikoku to go bring something to demolish that _damned_ door preventing him from saving his kid.

He tried to calm down, really, to breathe, but it felt like there was something in him that simply refused to do so. Yukine's eyes rolled at the back of his head and he fainted.

As sad as it was to say this, passing out and finally be freed of all the pain and despair which had been drowning him since he opened his eyes had been the best thing that happened to him today.

* * *

His return to consciousness was a lot calmer this time. He woke up without a sound, and heard quiet conversations floating around him. He blinked a few times. Apparently no one had noticed he had woken up.

He found strange that Yato hadn't noticed, though. Usually he could tell when he pretended to be asleep.

The person was holding him lovingly and tightly, so he had little doubts about who it was. He closed his barely opened eyes so that no trace of his orange pupils would be visible anymore and continued to pretend that he was sleeping. He wasn't in such a hurry to face the world again.

Luckily, one of his hands was already resting on his chest, so it wasn't that obvious when he started to rub it in discreet movements from left to right like he had sometimes seen Yato do.

He let out a barely audible breath. He had no idea about what the origin of the storm that wrecked his body before, but the violent and wild emotions from before had dulled a great lot and had _finally_ become bearable.

He closed his eyes, buried his nose in whoever's chest he was snuggling against and breathed as quietly as he could, enjoying every single molecule of air entering his body.

It felt like it had been centuries since he last breathed so serenely. He kept his eyes closed and said in a voice like a sigh, supposing he was alright now. "Yato."

"Yukine, you're awake?!" asked Daikoku in a loud worried voice, stopping what he'd been doing to kneel next to the semi-conscious child. "Are you hurt? You scared us, you know, when you just started to yell like that..."

"I suppose I did... All my apologies, Daikoku-san." He untangled himself from Yato's grip to sit on the floor next to him. The god said nothing and let him go, but the twitching of his fingers and the worry dulling his eyes said everything.

"Yukine-kun, drink a little. Your throat must be hoarse from all the crying and yelling from earlier," Hiyori proposed him softly, although the strength she used to shove the glass of water in his hands wasn't quite matching it.

Her pink eyes shone with worry and urgency, similar to Kofuku's and Daikoku's. He blinked at them a moment before he lowered his head and looked at his lap sheepishly, feeling their concern warming his frigid chest. "Sorry, Hiyori."

He accepted the glass with trembling fingers, but Hiyori frowned at the disgusted expression that appeared on his face as soon as he took the glass in his hands. "Yukine-kun? I-Is something wrong?"

_"Let's drown him!"_

He could see the man from his nightmare crawling again in his peripheral vision, leaving a trail of blood mixed with tears behind him, and his cries. Goodness, his cries too... They wouldn't stop resonating in his head, along with the thousand and thousand other voices. This macabre choir stopped the second he looked at where he should be, where they should _all_ be, because there was no one.

He could have sworn he'd seen him.

He smoothed his expression the best he could before anyone could question his bizarre reaction to a mere glass of _water_ and quickly brought the ice-cold water to his lips.

But when he saw the man's expression reflect in the water's ripples, terrified and _crying_, he froze, and it slipped out of his hands. Hiyori caught it before it spilled on the floor. "Yukine...kun?"

He let out a breath and covered his face with his trembling palms, unable to meet anyone's face. Unable to explain why he'd freaked out about water.

"Yukki..."

"I'm not very awake... I'm sorry Hiyori," he apologized with a silent voice, although he knew that she wasn't in the slightest angry at him. He had to think about something, anything. "I-I'll drink later. I think I would prefer eating first."

Unluckily for him, they all firmly refused to put his two earlier fits out of their minds.

Every _living_ person in the room fussed over him for at least _twenty_ _minutes_ each, asking what on earth had happened earlier or if he wanted to talk about it or if he wanted to go to sleep again, but this time with somebody. He answered each of their questions patiently, and tried to smile a little to reassure them. Oddly, he found he didn't mind that concern too much. It made him feel less alone.

Eating lunch eased some of their worries, though, and especially Yato's. He felt a weight being slowly removed from his chest, making it easier to find his appetite. After he'd engulfed all his lunch, taken seconds and drank a little – not water, though; Hiyori had somehow guessed proposing him that again would trigger him another fit - someone proposed the idea of going outside. An idea that Yato, his way too protective god, rejected right off the bat, arguing that Yukine was still fragile and needed to rest after whatever happened earlier.

But Yukine insisted that he was fine now, because it was the truth. He'd been through hell a few hours ago, but now the pain was dull and he barely sensed it. Better taking advantage of that before it worsened again.

He proposed the first place that came to his mind, and Yato puzzled over his instantaneous answer. "The... beach?"

"You want to go there too, right? Then we should just go. Getting some fresh air will do some good to everyone, not just me."

"It's a good idea!" cheered Hiyori. "Marine air is often the remedy when feeling sick or unwell. It will do nothing but good to Yukine-kun."

"But-"

"I'm okay now Yato," he smiled dimly. "Stop worrying about me."

"...How did you know that I wanted to go to the beach?" Yato's gaze hardened yet at the same time his brows furrowed, and Yukine frowned at the sudden intensity in his god's eyes. "I-I don't know; don't look at me like that. You must have said it one day, and I made the mistake of listening to you."

Yato didn't even laugh at this, and waited that Hiyori had left to help Kofuku taking something in the kitchen that was too high for her to reach to talk again. He advanced in front of Yukine, not bothering to hide his concern. "What happened earlier?"

"I had a nightmare," he mumbled silently, choosing not to point out that the nightmare was about him. "I'm sorry to have yelled. And scared you too. I... It was a stupid dream and I got really scared, but I'm fine now."

He didn't like lying to Yato, but to his greatest surprise, the god didn't flinch to the lie. He thought he would be stung, but apparently not. His eyes glassed over a moment, and worry burst in the god's eyes again. "Are you hiding something from me?"

He smiled wobbly. "I'm not. I-I'm going to take some stuff... for the beach."

"Are you sure you're alright?" he insisted, blocking his path. "You've been acting weird ever since we ran into Father last day. He didn't do anything to you, right?"

"Yup, I'm fine!" he said convincingly, trying his best to imitate Yato whenever he wasn't fine but didn't want the others to worry. "Don't worry. You should better help Daikoku-san prepare the bags; otherwise he will get mad and call you lazy."

Yato left him with his thoughts only when Daikoku grabbed him by the ear to drag him in the kitchen to help his goddess make the sandwiches. Yukine looked at Yato with a smug look as he yelped and tried to get free from Daikoku's iron grip, and dropped the act only when he was certain to be alone.

"Why on earth did I dream about something like this...?" he mumbled to himself.

* * *

**I'm sorry if you think that it's not interesting yet... But something actually happened in the last two chapters. What's going on with Yukine will be revealed in the next chapter, but don't hesitate to say it if you have an idea :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ugh, exams are definitely the worst. They are so stressful they shouldn't be allowed to exist, seriously. Learning that I passed them yesterday put me in a good mood, so here is the next chapter for those who aren't bored of this yet. I hope you will enjoy that... **

**Also, thanks to everyone who followed and favourited this. Really, thank you from the bottom of my heart :)**

* * *

Although the morning had been completely ruined, the group still managed to have a shadow of a pleasant beginning of afternoon.

Yukine brushed his increasing discomfort aside so that no one would worry, although he couldn't help but wince and sway sometimes as they all walked. The emotions were starting to be too strong for him to focus on anything else.

"...Right, Yukine-kun?"

He started and plastered the most neutral expression he had in stock on his face to look at her while scrambling furiously in his brain to find what they could have been talking about all that time.

He was really out of it. "Yukine," mumbled Daikoku when he failed to give her an answer, "it's alright if you're not ready to go out yet, you know? Don't rush yourself. We can go out another time."

"N-No no, not at all! It's, um..." His eyes lit up a little as he found a perfect party to blame. "It's heat. It's way too hot today, even for a summer day. I don't do well in such high temperatures. It feels like I'm suffocating sometimes..."

Suffocating.

Yato's eyes suddenly widened and he tugged at the hem of Yukine's shirt to check his name in panic. "H-Hey! What are you doing, you creep?!"

It was still there, a little bit dulled but not broken, save the crack he'd received at the hospital. All words like suffocating and heat were intrinsically linked to the box, and he let out a shaky breath.

The fact that he had started to remember could be an explanation for his curious behaviour of a few days ago. He didn't know if he was thankful that it wasn't the case, or worried that he didn't know what was going on.

"I-I had thought that..." _that you had started to remember..._

"Yato, let me go," said Yukine too quickly. He stepped back and took a few deep breaths, feeling panic rise in him. "I-If you worry so much, then hurry up and walk so that we can all cool down at the beach. Though dumb as you are, I'm sure you forgot something important. Did you take the swimsuits like I asked you to?"

Yato blinked a few times before gasping, and Daikoku whacked him over the head. "I can't believe it! It was the only thing you had to take and you forgot _them_?! How much an idiot god can you be, Yato?!"

"Ouch! Let me go, Daikoku! You brute!"

"Oh... Well, we come home then," pouted Kofuku. "If we don't have our swimsuits then we can't go swimming. We won't just stay bored under the sun..."

"Looks like we have no choice," grumbled Daikoku, feeling his heart melting at the sight of his goddess' disappointed face. "We'll stop at the first stop we see and buy some. I'll pay, and Yato can pay me back when we're home."

"What? Why should _I _pay?! I did nothing wrong!"

"Because you're an idiot!"

"I'm _not_! When I will get thousands of followers you won't be telling me that, Daikoku!"

Yukine rolled his eyes at their dispute and followed them quietly, staying behind and making sure that he was not in anyone's field of vision just in case he had another fit. It worked until Hiyori and Kofuku stepped back too to stay with him and avoid the boys' fight.

So to the shop they all went. Inside was considerably cooler than the scorching heat outside, so he wasn't mad at all at Yato when he started to act like the hyperactive child he sometimes was and ran off in it, leaving the others to curse him and ask him to _slow_ _down_ before he caused too much trouble. He watched him with a faintly amused smile, wondering if his god had done that on purpose to protect him from the heat.

He picked the first swimsuit he thought that could fit him without really looking at it and collapsed on a kind of stood there. He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and his index wearily.

_"Poor child..."_ whispered an adult voice from afar, tainted with a genuine disgust. He whipped his head towards it, only to find no one there.

He was certain he had heard a voice, though. A female voice...

He blinked and thought about it a few seconds more before shrugging and massaging his temples. It was heat's fault. It was _definitely_ the summer heat that was frying his brain and messing up his head so much.

_"Let's play, Hiiro! Father will be so happy when we bring him ears..."_

A shiver ran down his spine as he jerked his head in another direction. Still no one, not even someone from the Near Shore was there.

_"You _mustn't_ steal! Even if you're a god, stealing is bad!"_

He stayed frozen a moment as thousands of other voices assaulted him at the same time. Wailing entreaties, barked orders, tears, and heartbroken last words before the sound of a blade digging in a body all jumbled together. He could too precisely smell the blood emanating from the corpses and made a mad dash to the closest bin to throw up when he felt that he just couldn't hold it back anymore. However it was a thing that he soon regretted to have done when a headache striked him with full force and lowered him to his knees.

He wasn't sure if he was hot or cold. A second he was sweating bullets, and the next he was so cold that all his limbs were numb. The contents of the trash became fuzzy and lost the few colours he could still see, and his head felt like it was so heavy his neck couldn't hold it upright. He felt boneless and breathing quickly became impossible, which he took as a sign that he would soon pass out.

"Not now," he repeated, hoping that his body would listen to this order. "Not now, not now..."

But the trembling wouldn't stop, and a few tears fell in the basket. "Not now..."

Wiping the saliva on his lips and the tearstains on his face with the back of his wrists, he limped back to the stool where he had kept a bottle of water, and almost emptied it in his haste to make the uncomfortable stench of vomit leave his mouth. His stomach was literally killing him.

He dumped the rest of the bottle on his face then carefully rubbed it with a towel. The voices had stopped for now, and he let out a calming breath.

"It's okay now," he mumbled to in the towel's fabric. He pressed it against his face. "It's okay. I-It's okay, it's okay, it's _okay..."_

* * *

He was thankful no one had witnessed his moment of weakness, otherwise, protective as they were, he knew they would have directly came back home.

Soon, Yato reappeared downstairs with the others behind him, proudly waving around the orange capyper-themed swimsuit he had chosen. He could hear Hiyori behind him repeat that he should take something else, because that was simply _ugly _and that it was not possible to wear something like this.

From what he could see, Daikoku and Kofuku were on Hiyori's side; looking disapprovingly at, as Yato called it, the ultimate swimsuit for capyper fans. Yato pouted at them all. "You're all _so_ mean! Well, fine! Yukine has good taste, so _he_ will decide!"

He held it in front of him as if it was a decisive piece of evidence in a trial. "Say, Yukine. Do you really think it's ugly? My super capyper swimsuit is great, right?! It's not ridiculous, right?!"

"It's not," he yawned, barely seeing said swimsuit through his half-closed eyelids. "If it's something you like, then you should obviously keep it. Whatever makes you happy is worth being kept. Just make sure not to lose it in the future. Daikoku-san won't buy you another."

A silence fell in the room, interrupted now and then by people from the Near Shore and loud announcements blaring from the speakers on the ceiling, and all of them were looking at Yukine with various degrees of worry and puzzlement. Yato crouched in front of him, an intent blue stare a few centimetres away from his face.

"...What?"

"Your eyes... Did you cry? You looked fine earlier..."

"I'm just feeling a little bit tired," he answered simply. "I will surely feel better once we arrive."

He got on his two unsteady feet and Yato looked up at his closed expression. "I'm okay," he recited, hoping that saying it enough would make it happen.

"Maybe we shouldn't go, Yukki," proposed Kofuku in a hesitant voice. "You don't look better at all, and the sun will be beating down at the beach. You will pass out if you come..."

"Maybe you're sick after all Yukine-kun..."

It was strange. He was torn between blushing and smiling, because it was adorable and felt terribly good to have people so concerned for him, and nervously look away because worry felt so unusual and uncomfortable. He didn't know why, but he felt like he had never done anything to deserve such attention.

He made only one step before Yato caught his wrist. "Yukine, talk to us. What's wrong? I won't let you go before you talk to me."

He let out an inaudible sigh. He could perfectly well imagine his master's face full of worries and unanswered questions, and determination furrowing his brows. He was thankful that he didn't have to face Yato to see this expression that didn't belong to his face.

He pushed the increasing worry bubbling up in his chest so he wouldn't grimace or wince to give the best reply he could give his god, hoping he could get him off his back for now. "The only thing wrong _now_ is you touching my clothes with your dirty, sweaty hands, Yato. Let me go and I will be fine, like I said for the hundredth time today."

The god made a wounded theatrical expression while clutching his chest, and after a gasp he felt the latter's fingertips slide down his palm as he let him go. He smiled and advanced without paying him more attention.

But he knew the god was stubborn; he surely wouldn't let it go, but he'd gotten off the hook for now.

And once all the swimsuits bought, not drop the issue he did. He waited that the others had walked more in front of them to lean next to Yukine's ear and murmur. "You can tell me if something is wrong."

"Yato..." He'd been worrying for him non-stop since this morning, really.

"You know... The nightmare you had earlier wasn't natural. Even when you were in physical pain you never yelled like that. Never. I was terrified... I.. I had actually thought Father had come back to hurt you upstairs while I wasn't looking. I thought he had decided to destroy something precious to me again."

"..."

"Father is dangerous... He is smart and has powers that you can't even imagine, so you _have_ to tell me if he or anyone did something to you. You have to, okay? Promise? You can't handle everything alone, no matter how strong you are."

"I know I don't always seem to be reliable and serious, but I will do everything I have to do to help you feel better. Don't bottle everything up, because it's never good to do that."

_But _you_ do that. All the time. You never tell me anything... You never tell anyone anything. You keep all these toxic emotions in yourself and let them poison your soul. _"I'm not bottling anything up, don't worry. I'm alright. Just that nightmare that messed up my head, but I'm fine..." he said, smothering another yawn behind his hand. "That advice can be applied to you too. Talk to me if you want to. I'm here."

"I know." Yato ruffled his hair. "Thank you. I'm glad that you're here."

"Stop being all sappy and annoying," he mumbled under his breath. Yato laughed heartily, and he felt like everything was normal for a second as he slipped back in his moody teenager's attitude.

* * *

A bright and innocent smile spread across Yato's face when the group finally arrived to the beach, and Yukine couldn't help but smile too as his master's happiness shone bright in his heart.

"It has been so long since I last came here!"

The place was terribly noisy and black with people, but apparently that wasn't enough to tamper Yato's enthusiasm down in the slightest. Apparently they were not the first persons to have thought about cooling off here.

Yukine squinted through the crowd until he finally found a free spot on the sand. "Hurry up, otherwise it's going to be taken," he hurried the others.

Ten minutes later, Yato, Daikoku, Hiyori and Kofuku were all playing together under Yukine's attentive gaze. He'd refused his master's offer to come, napping on the sand and not overexerting himself looking like it was a far better thing to do. He gave them bottles of water when they came and offered towels to dry their hands before they took something to eat, shaking his head each time someone asked him if he was sure he didn't want to come.

He was sure. He didn't want to swim or go in the water again, not with the awful yells in his head still ringing and the face of the man who had been drowned that he could see in the water's reflection.

He looked hungrily at every aspect on his god's happy face. The sparkle in his eyes that made the blue of the sea pale and dull in comparison, his hearty laughs that he could only faintly hear yet that warmed his heart like nothing else could. He never realized he loved seeing Yato happy this much.

Yato had never really had a childhood, now that he thought about it. No matter what he said, being scarred for life by his father and dreaming of corpses scattered everywhere and spending nights all alone with his haunting thoughts for sole company could not be called a childhood by any stretch of the imagination.

But he never complained about it, of course. The god revealed snippets of his past only if he didn't have a choice, he always made sure to look after Yukine and did everything he could so that he was always happy.

He didn't like how Yato was suffering in silence all the time and how he couldn't do anything about to alleviate even a fraction of this pain. It was so sad that Yato tried his hardest to make everyone happy while knowing he would never be himself.

He masked any trace of his sadness to smile at his god who was approaching. He handed him his bottle with a smile. "Who won the race?"

"It was Daikoku, that dirty cheater! I was sure I could swim faster than him; it must me Kofuku who cursed me with her aura of binbougami!" Yukine chuckled as he started to listen to his god's rant, yet all trace of happiness disappeared when he saw someone waving at him joyously somewhere behind Yato. "-it has been centuries that... Yukine? Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing..." he mumbled, tearing his gaze away from the man with difficulty. "I, um... I think I'm feeling a little bit hot. I'm going to buy ice cream."

"Um, sure... Is everything alright?"

"Hm-mh. There is just someone I have to talk with for a moment. I won't be long, I promise."

* * *

"What _the_ _hell_ are you playing at?" he asked once they were far enough from the beach.

"I could ask you the same thing," scoffed Fujisaki, severe annoyance written all over his face. "What do _you_ think you're doing, interfering with Yaboku like that and disrupting him in his mission? Are you trying to destroy his heart entirely by letting him get too attached? His job is to _cull_ _the_ _herd_, not to _go_ _to_ _the_ _beach_."

"That disgusting wish was _not_ what Yato was born of," he shot back instantly. "He's finally having something close to happiness for the first time in centuries, so don't you dare bothering him now."

"I can't get why you aren't scared of him, though." wondered out loud Fujisaki. "You've clearly seen what he is capable of. The man you saw him murder could've been anyone you know. Hiyori-chan, Bishamon, Daikoku... _Even__ you._ You think killing a kid would be anything new for him?_"_

"H-How do you know..." he breathed, not sure if he wanted to end his sentence at all.

"What you dreamed about?" he finished for him. "Super simple. What you call a dream was actually one of Yaboku's memories, and _I'm_ the one who put it in your head. You've been feeling unwell since we saw a few days ago right? Well... I _might_ or not have cursed you then and reversed your bond. But it's not my fault; it's _yours._ You chose to get implicated with Yaboku despite my warnings..."

Yukine's eyes widened. "So the voices... I-It was you?"

These terrifying loud voices that hadn't stopped all day were all his work?

If he had reversed their bond, then... Was this was Yato heard every day?

He knew it, he was shivering again.

"Oh, don't make that face..." he said while rolling his eyes at Yukine's horror-struck expression that he was trying his best to hide. "It's a perfect occasion to get to know your master better, and what kind of an awful person he is. You always complain that you know nothing about him, but when I tell you you're not satisfied? Teenagers can be so annoying, I swear..."

"You should give Yaboku back to me, young boy. The curse isn't at full force yet, so it's not too late to back out. I'm a magician, a god who has the capacity of choosing which ones of Yaboku's memories I can put in your little head when you're sleeping or not... You're aware that I can make you live a real and unending nightmare if your don't surrender, aren't you?"

"Do you even hear yourself talking?! Yato is _no one's_! Can't you just find something to do with your life so that you have something else to do than bothering Yato?!" A tick of annoyance appeared on Fujisaki's forehead. "You're nothing but a monster, and have no right to call yourself a father after what you did to _me_!"

Another crack appeared on Yukine's name.

Fujisaki blinked. "Whoa, calm down kid. I did nothing for you to get this angry at me... You should better focus on calming down, yeah? Your face is all red."

"Ugh... E-Enough of this," he wheezed. He closed his eyes and leaned against a streetlamp nearby. "Y-Yelling at you is giving me a killer headache."

"I will say it slowly and one last time so that even _you_ can understand... I'm not _scared_ of Yato and I will never be, no matter what your twisted mind wants to put in my head. Can you hear me well, or are your ears plugged? Undo that _damn_ spell right now, because it won't work. I. Will. _Not_. Abandon. Yato," he hissed, stressing the negation.

A moment of silence fell. Fujisaki eyed him in disbelief before letting out a laugh that was not in the slightest amused. "I can't believe it. So even after I showed you what an awful person Yaboku was, you won't let him go? This is your last answer?"

Yukine didn't dignify him with a verbal answer, but the determination emanating from his small body and the death glare he was shooting him were more than sufficient to get his message through. The two stared at each other for a moment before Fujisaki slowly shook his head from side to side. "Teenagers, I swear... For a murdered boy, you sure do have a big mouth. Yaboku, seriously... He didn't edicate you properly if he never thaught you that you shouldn't talk back to adults."

"..."

"Very well, then. Yukine, shinki of the god Yato, if your wish is to remain at your god's side despite my warnings, then I can say it..."

Yukine's heart sank at these words.

"Your_ wish has been heard loud and clear."_


	4. Chapter 4

Bishamon had never been so happy and in such a hurry to finish her work, mainly because the weather wasn't a weather to work. The stifling air was literally burning her throat.

Of course, the vent _couldn't_ be located in Takamagahara. It would have been too easy. No, it _definitely_ had to be in the middle of an active town, where she had not only to worry about not hurting humans with her sword, Yugiha, but also where the sun was so close and hot that she could have sworn it was determined to burn her alive.

She was just so _fed_ _up_. Kazuma had tried to calm her down when she had burst that she would go home _now _and that this stupid heatwave would kill her, and her other shinki started to do so when they guessed Kazuma had had enough of doing so.

So yeah, now that she was on her way back, all she wanted was to soak in a bath for hours and hours and never go back in the human world again. She wondered with horror if they had to suffer this heat every day, feeling a new surge of sympathy for them.

She wiped the sweat gathered on her forehead and huffed. "I swear, next time the vent is somewhere so hot and unpleasant then I won't go. Humans can find a solution without gods helping them, right?"

"Don't be like that, Veena..." chuckled her hafuri, although he looked quite red on the face too. "It's in the past now."

"I would have liked if it was the case, really. But we still have to check if there are other vents around. Frankly, I'm _fed up."_

"I don't think there are. We stayed at least two hours on the last one, so it's very unlikely that there are more."

"I hope you're right, Kazuma..." she sighed. "Honestly, if there are more then I..." She trailed off and suddenly slowed down her pace, and Kazuma frowned at her. "What is the matter, Veena?"

"...I think I heard a voice," she said uncertainly. Karuha clung to her left wrist and started to shake a little bit. "A-A voice... not like a ghost's, right Ane-sama...?"

"What? Of course not, Karuha," she chuckled, petting her hair to reassure her a little. "I don't think it's a ghost. I will see."

"We will come too!" offered all of her shinki, the majority of them wearing beaming smiles. "There is no way we can let our mistress go somewhere dangerous unarmed," smiled Kinuha.

Bishamon blinked at them and blushed a little. It was a time like these that she was happy to have such sweet and devoted shinki to care about her. _Shinki that you could have lost because of your negligence, great goddess of war_, repeated her brain for the umpteenth time after that incident. _You don't deserve any of them and any of their loyalty._

Her blush let place to a sadder smile at this thought that hadn't stopped haunting her. "Thank you," she mumbled. "Let's hurry."

"Hey, how can you know it's not a ghost, though?" repeated Karuha, clutching Bishamon's wrist tighter as they advanced. "Maybe it's one. We eliminated all the Ayakashi, and it can't be a human, so..."

"What are you saying?! It can't be a ghost! And anyway, you're way too old to be scared of them, Karuha," laughed her brother. "Oh, stop making fun of me! Do you think I don't see you shaking?! You're as scared as me!" she replied with a blush.

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"I'm _not!"_

"Children, please don't fight," sighed Kuraha. "Please, I'm begging you. I think the heat is horrible enough without a dispute to worsen it..."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?!" they asked in unison, and when Bishamon saw a man talking on the phone shooting them a dark look, she knew that they were making too much noise.

"Hey, hey, both of you... Don't make so much-"

"Y-Yukine?!" asked Kazuma with a high-pitched voice before rushing at his side, the others following him more or less quickly when they understood who the boy laying on the pavement was. "It's hot there! Wh-What are you doing on the floor?! Are you hurt?!"

He recoiled when he saw how red his skin was, and how he sounded like he was hyperventilating. "He has a heatstroke," said expertly Akiha, recognizing these symptoms. Bishamon and her shinki moved aside to give way to the doctor, watching him do his diagnosis with various degrees of worry.

"The skin on his arms is bright red, he is burning up... And his heartbeat isn't regular either. It's severe, Bishamon-sama. We should bring him inside and cool him down immediately. We have no time to call his god."

She nodded hurriedly and teleported them all, already thinking about a lecture to give his god for this negligence that could have been fatal to his only shinki and hafuri.

She'd have to wring his neck and beat him up for this negligence later, though. Yukine came first.

* * *

The goddess was infinitely thankful that Akiha had taken Kugaha's place as a doctor among her shinki, because honestly she wouldn't have handled the situation as well as he did. He gave the right orders to the right person, and after half an hour of medicine and treatments Yukine was asleep. His face was still a little bit red, though.

Kazuma proposed himself to keep watch for the night in case something happened to his student. Bishamon wasn't fond of the idea of her hafuri being awake all night, but she knew that Yukine's health had been greatly endangered and that he was worried sick.

She only ruffled his hair and made him promise that he would wake her up if something happened before closing the door behind her.

He sighed once he was alone in Akiha's office. He had definitely not seen the afternoon pass today.

He eyed Yukine by a moonbeam streaming through the window, his shallow breathing and pale face making him wish with all his heart that he would wake up soon. He wiped his face, readjusted the pillow under his head, exchanged the pack of melted ice cubes under it with a new one, brushed a few strands of hair on his face, and sighed once again.

He looked like he was in such a peaceful slumber. Maybe he would wake up tomorrow.

The sound of his phone chiming immediately grabbed his attention, being the only distraction he had in the room, except listening to the tick-tack of the clock and the sound of Yukine's respiration.

He lit it up. He had guessed that Yato was worried not to have seen his kid during all afternoon, and that he had probably called him to have news. Phone calls to which he didn't answer, being busy helping Akiha taking care of his shinki.

Still, he wasn't prepared for the avalanche of messages and calls that he received. "I guess he had been worried..." he muttered to himself, the screen reflecting in his glasses. "I didn't answer him after all, and Veena told us to warn him that Yukine was here only after we were sure he was safe. Better call him now. He shouldn't be sleeping yet..."

"Don't," said a feeble voice before catching the wrist of the hand holding the phone. "Please, Kazuma-san... We can't call Yato. Not yet."

Yukine's pallor hadn't disappeared in the slightest. He still looked tired and red, but what shocked Kazuma the most was his eyes. They were lifeless, and it reminded him too much of Yato's whenever he talked about his past.

It was honestly scary, even more in the night.

"Yukine, a-are you alright?" he asked in his gentlest voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Everything's okay... I'm okay. I'm alright now." Kazuma's frown didn't disappear. He sounded like he was talking to himself, not answering him.

Yukine blinked at him before offering the most reassuring smile he had. "Thanks for saving me. I'm fine now, so please... Don't call Yato."

"Why shouldn't want me to call him? Do you have any idea of how _worried_ he was?" He didn't mean to raise his voice, really, but Yukine's stubbornness was starting to annoy him a little bit. He didn't know how bad he had looked.

"It's precisely _because_ he is worried now that he can't see me. His emotions are already painful enough as it is... If he sees me, he will freak out, and I will pass out. I'm sure of it."

Kazuma gave him a puzzled look, and Yukine sighed before telling him the story. Bishamon and he already knew some parts of Yato's past, and they knew enough to understand what was going on.

Kazuma paled once he was done. "The sorcerer has such powers...? The power of reversing a bond?"

"Yeah. Yato already told me that he is pretty powerful, but I never thought that he could do this. He wants to use this as a test and haunt me until I can't bear it anymore and I ask Yato to be released."

"You... You won't ask Yato to be released, will you?" He already knew what his answer would be, but... He didn't like to think that the sparkle in Yukine's eyes would dull even more than it already was. A few days more, and his eyes would be emptied of life. He would look like a corpse.

"Of course not. I will hang on... There is nothing medicine and sleep can't fix. Yato... He is suffering enough as it is." He clenched his fist just above his heart. "I know that he cares about me, and forcing him to release me would break what is left of his heart."

"You're going to break too, if it continues like this," breathed Kazuma without even trying to hide his worry. "The sorcerer won't ever stop."

"I know that," he said humourlessly. The choir of crying voices and the tension in his muscles had never stopped. "But I can't just give up and make Yato suffer. I'm... I'm his hafuri. I have to protect him."

Kazuma didn't doubt Yukine's words. After all, his feelings for his master were similar to some extent to the ones he nurtured for his goddess, and he was determined never abandon her. He was right when he said that hafuri's work was to protect their master, but he didn't think that it what Yukine had to protect Yato of.

And he didn't hesitate to voice this thought. "Thank you for your concern, Kazuma-san, but that's how I will do it. So please, don't tell Yato. He will have a cardiac arrest if he learns what his father did to me."

His phone chimed again. "Can I answer?"

Kazuma handed him his phone without saying a word, and looked with a mix of sadness and apprehension Yukine trying to reassure his god that he was fine through the phone.

It was a bad idea. He was certain that it wouldn't turn well.

* * *

"I'm not ever letting you go on your own again," grumbled Yato, tucking Yukine in his futon. "Seriously, Yukine. Next time you tell me that you're going to buy some ice-cream or stuff I will follow you so that you don't have a heatstroke staying under the sun for too long. The crazy bitch and Kazuma were so mad, I thought they would kill me!"

But Yukine ruined all his efforts by sitting up. He was about to protest about it when he felt his thin arms circle him. He frowned. Had he lost weight? "I'm sorry to have worried you," he mumbled in his chest.

Yato stayed silent a moment before returning the embrace. "It's fine. I'm glad nothing happened to you."

_I know, _he almost said. And among all his master's sadness and despair and sorrow, a particular emotion stood out. "Yato... Are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine."

His emotions said otherwise, though. His fingers gripped more tightly his master's clothes. "I... I'm never going to abandon you. You know that, right? You won't ever feel as lonely as you have been all these years."

A certain warmth spread in the god's chest, and an unusual blush rose his face. He opened his mouth to question Yukine, but the latter was already asleep. He slid him back in his bed and tucked him in it again before returning to his own, his heart hammering in his ribcage.

Not being alone again, huh... He didn't know if he really deserved this, but it felt good to hear.

* * *

He pressed his palms against his mouth the second he had opened it, fearing to have woken Yato up with his nightmare. Feeling that he _had _to leave to calm down, he scrambled to his feet as silently as he could not to wake him and hurried outside, not even bothering to close the door behind him.

It's only then that he fell to his knees in the garden's grass and took deep, deep intakes of the night's fresh air to clear his head.

The same question was tormenting him. How could Yato still _sleep _and live with everything that he had to carry? With such sadness, such loneliness, such horror, such _abuse_? It wasn't possible... It wasn't _healthy _to carry everything alone.

He had had that dream again, that dream of a woman who was dying in front of Yato. He never remembered who was there or who the woman was, but he remembered each time all too clearly her distorted face and the brown-haired man yelling at his master while Yato was small, wailing, crying his eyes out like a terrified child because he didn't understand what was going on.

He scrubbed at his eyes, wiping away the tears he hadn't realized he had been shedding. Well, there was no way that he could go back to sleep now. He started to faintly understand why Yato couldn't sleep and stayed awake all night sometimes.

He slipped in the house as unnoticed as a ghost, halted to the kitchen to make some water boil, and went upstairs to take some medicine before Yato's emotions and nightmares killed him for good.

Noticing his master was sleeping strangely, like most of the time, he took the time to make sure he was covered by his blanket up to his chin and slipped back his left hand under it. But Yato whimpered again, and started to move even more.

Yukine frowned, crouched next to him and shook his shoulder forcefully. Yato's eyes shot open, and he was wearing an expression Yukine had never seen before. An expression of fear and sadness that disappeared as soon as his brain registered who was in front of him. "Y-Yu...kine?"

It was like he was pronouncing a foreign name. "Yeah, it's me. You... You were having a nightmare. Are you alright?"

He breathed heavily a few more instants before closing his eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Yukine winced when he felt a pain similar to a punch strike him at the lie. It wasn't such a big lie, but he was terribly weakened. "Don't... Don't move. I will bring you some tea."

Yato was too dazed to answer him anything. The tea was originally meant to be his, but well. Yato needed it more than he did. "Thank you," he mumbled, accepting the steaming mug in his hands.

"It's nothing. What was that nightmare you had? Do you want to talk about it?"

"Don't need to," he mumbled before taking a sip of his tea. Then, his expression let place to the saddest grin Yukine had ever seen. "There, it's gone! It's fine now! Maybe I was just really thirsty."

Here he was, denying his weakness again. Yukine might normally have gotten annoyed with him, but this time it just made him want to cry. How could such a suffering be ignored? "Yato... _P__lease_, I'm begging you, don't take me for a fool," he pleaded. "_Please_ tell me when something is wrong. You must have dreamt something terrible to wake you up... Why won't you tell me? Why won't you tell me anything? Why won't you trust me? I-I want to help you... Y-You can talk to me, you know. I will always be by your side."

Yukine's gaze was firm and solemn, also shining in the moonlight because of unshed tears. Yato wondered a second since when exactly Yukine had such an adult and determined look. And... had his kid's eyes darkened, or was it just a trick of light?

He looked away from him and let a full minute of silence pass before mumbling, his head hung low and shoulders hunched. "I wonder... Maybe it's dumb, but sometimes, you know, I wonder if I should give up being a god of fortune."

"After all... Bringing happiness to others is not what I was made for. Whether I like it or not, I'm a magatsukami. I was meant to cull the herd... Maybe it's pointless for me to continue all this."

Yato sounded oddly sad and resigned. Looking down at the moon's reflect in his mug, Yukine thought that he looked like a small child.

"That's not true at all," he mumbled. "Believe in yourself. I, as well as H-Hiyori and countless other persons... we all believe in you. And in some part of your heart, you must know that you can change too, otherwise y-you wouldn't have left your father and released Nora. Y-Y-You've already showed that much strength, so how can you doubt about it? You're... You're an incredible god already, and you will only be an even more incredible god of fortune."

Despite the darkness around him, Yukine clearly saw his master's blush. A drop of happiness lost in an ocean of grief. "Wh-What's wrong with you today, saying so much emotional stuff?" he spluttered. "Did someone change my kid to turn all the sass into nice words and hugs?"

_In a sense, yes._

He wiped his eyes and took the mug out of his hands. "S-Stop complaining and go to sleep. We have to wake up early tomorrow; we're gonna do some jobs. You won't be able to do anything if you're exhausted."

"I won't be able to do anything if I see you're _not_ alright either. What were you doing awake at such an hour? Your lamp isn't even on. Did you sleep?"

"I slept enough for this night," he mumbled, but his voice was so low that Yato hadn't heard him. Sleeping was less painful than staying awake and feel his body's pains and the emotions break him piece after piece, but never knowing what kind of horror was waiting for him when he slept was driving him insane. And it's not like it was dangerous for him not to sleep. After all, he was dead.

"Not without you." Yato stretched and massaged his aching back while getting to his feet. "Give me that mug, and you sit down, okay? I don't know if the psycho bitch gave you food, but Daikoku left a plate for you in the fridge, and-"

"Yato..." He was just _tired._ He wished all this mess never happened, and that he could tell Yato what was weighting on his heart like he often did. But now he was alone, trapped in his pain. He felt scaringly empty, like an important part of his heart - or maybe his entire heart - had been burned to ashes. But he had to hang on, just a little longer. He couldn't and wouldn't give up now.

Yato wouldn't survive another loss.


	5. Chapter 5

It was definitely worsening.

He had already been through a week of this torture – he wasn't afraid to label his suffering as this anymore - giving fake smiles and reassuring lies to the others, and he was still processing how he had managed to survive all this time.

He hadn't slept ever since the day he had comforted Yato from his nightmare, although thanks to an obscene amount of medicine it wasn't that obvious. He looked fine enough from outside, maybe a little tired, but there was a war raging inside him, and he really didn't think he could keep the act any longer.

It felt like... Like someone was tearing him apart from the inside. Like his guts were all mixed together, like each of his muscles were actually a heart beating way too strongly. And cherry on the top, when he woke up from one of the rare nights he had had some sleep, he was coughing up blood.

He held back his coughs, fearing that he would leave bloodstains everywhere and worry Yato, and tiptoed to the bathroom downstairs.

He locked himself in it. He knew by experience he would be there for a long and painful moment.

"_You're such a fool to dare disobey me.__"_

He let the blood run freely on his clothes as he washed his hands and filled his palms with water that he splashed on his face once, twice, again and again until he could no longer see red on his deathly white face. He took a tentative intake of breath once he thought he was fine, but some blood went up his throat and he coughed again.

He didn't think he could not say Yato any longer. He knew he was really going to die, at this rate. And it's not like Yato's father was scared of doing that.

Had Fujisaki intensified the spell's strength again?

He caught the bottom of his sweaty t-shirt and lifted it up above his head with more difficulty that it had any right to have. His stomach plummeted.

The stain of blight he had noticed on his lower back a few days ago was now covering it in full.

He stared at his reflect a moment before a tear rolled down his cheek, then two, then three before he started to sob. He curled up on himself and stifled them the best he could, but it was hard when he wanted to yell his pain to the entire world.

He was definitely breaking.

"_Why are there so few ears, both of you? Daddy is disappointed. Very, very disappointed."_

"Looks like it's getting worse," laughed darkly Fujisaki, unmoved by the blood on Yukine's pinched face and the abnormal sweat on his hands. Yukine didn't even know if he was real or if he was another of the countless hallucinations he had had recently. "When was the last time you slept, honestly? Or ate something without throwing it up? You look _awful_."

"_G-Go to hell..."_

"I told you it didn't have to be this way..." he mumbled, combing his hand through his hair. "You just want to be dramatic. You should just leave Yaboku alone, it would be less painful for both of you."

Fujisaki came closer from the trembling child. "You know... Your name is cracking more and more under that weight," he whispered in his ear. But Yukine was too tired to shove him away. "But it's understandable. You're too young to have that kind of memories."

"I think you're broken now. Not like Yaboku, but still. His vision of the world tainted yours irremediably. And your name will crack... Yaboku won't be happy to have to kill you, trust me. You're just going to break his heart and soil his bloodied hands more than they already are."

"Yukine-kun?" repeated Hiyori, knocking on the door once again. "Is something wrong...? I told you breakfast would be ready soon..."

Oh, yeah. He vaguely recalled Hiyori telling him something like that. "Yeah, I'm coming!" answered Fujisaki, imitating Yukine's voice the best he could. But Yukine was in too much pain to make him stop. "I'm just brushing my teeth, and I'm coming. Don't let Yato eat everything, okay?"

Hiyori smiled at the unexpected amount of cheerfulness in his voice, and nodded. Yukine had sounded down recently, but she guessed it was just his imagination. He sounded _fine_ and cheerful.

Yukine only wiped his tears. "Wow, I can't believe she just thought I was you. She is dumb."

"S-She isn't d-dumb," he sobbed. "S-She cou... c-couldn't h-have guessed y-you w...ere... he-here..."

Fujisaki patted amicably his bare shoulder. "Well, I wish you good luck. I would have _loved_ to stay here and chatter with you, but I have things to do... You will need a lot of medicine to act as cheerful as I just sounded. Today is the last day before you give me your decision."

"Let's hope you won't die before that moment comes," he added sadistically.

* * *

His actions had started to get mechanic now.

He ate his lunch without really tasting it, knowing that it would end up thrown up later. He smiled all the time now, played around with his god when he was starting to get too worried about him, and laughed at some of Kofuku and Hiyori's jokes although all he wanted to do was to _stop_ pretending and break down in a million pieces.

"_You are forbidden from talking to others, Yaboku. Get attached again and you will see what happens."_

He wondered what, on earth, was more painful than pretending you were fine when it couldn't be farther from the truth.

And unluckily for him, he found out he was pretty talented at pretending. He had learned from the best. "Hey, Yukine! Are we going on a job today? I heard that there was a small vent nearby!"

"Sure. We could go now if you want."

He was honestly glad that this experience had eased a little bit of his master's emotional burden, but he knew he was going to break soon. It was unavoidable now. "Yup! You know, the heat went down a lot this week, so maybe we can stay a little bit longer outside. Maybe have an ice-cream together?"

"Sounds good," Yukine answered with as much as fake cheerfulness he could summon. "I hope you won't steal my money to make me pay, though."

"Of course not," said Yato, rolling his eyes. "Where did you get such a far-fetched idea?"

"Gee, I really have no clue. It's absolutely _not_ your style to do that."

"Well, we're off!" cheered Yato. "We will come back for his lesson later, Hiyori!"

She nodded at the two and waved her hand. "Have fun, both of you."

Yukine nodded emotionlessly and waved goodbye to the others before closing the door behind Yato. Yes, the heat had greatly went down, but weakened as he was, he felt like the heat was trying to light his five senses on fire.

The colours were suddenly too bright, the only smell his nose could pick up was the pungent blood splattered around him, and the yells felt like they were coming from inside his brain and echoing in his skull. The taste of acid when he had thrown up earlier had still not let his mouth despite brushing his teeth more than once, and he was so depleted of energy that he felt like the ground was trying to drag him into the ground. "Better, no? You can tell me if it's still too hot for you, though."

"It's fine," he smiled. "Thank you."

"_Bring Daddy more ears, Yaboku."_

"It's nothing..." Yato grinned proudly before sobering. "You know, as your god, I have responsibilities to watch over my shinki. I know I don't always do great, like when you had that heatstroke, but I swear you I am-"

"My balloon!" whined a voice.

Both god and hafuri stopped to look at a little girl, all alone in the middle of what looked like a garden, judging by the various flowers planted there and there. Her childish face was tear-stained, though, and the reason for that seemed to be a balloon that got stuck between a tree's branches.

Other children were behind her, but one of them whispered something to the others and they all left her. Yukine felt his heart tighten and whimpered in pain, but Yato was too focused on the girl to pay attention to this small noise.

His eyes were strangely dull and closed as he looked at her, a child, crying and left behind by her friends. They had a heartbroken quality that Yukine found himself unable to ignore and just let go.

"Go help her," Yukine proposed, looking away from Yato so that he couldn't see the blood running down his lips. "You have to help people in distress. It's the first step to become a true god of fortune, so go."

Yato looked at him, puzzled, before nodding and walking towards her. He pushed all trace of sadness aside to beam at her. "Hello, little girl! Fast, affordable and reliable! God Yato to your service! May I be of any assistance to you?"

"You _can't_ help me!" she wailed. "Look! It's stuck too high, a-and because of this everyone left me behind again! I-I don't care about that stupid balloon! It can stay here forever!"

"No worries, the great Yato will get it for you!" And the second after he had pronounced these words, he had already leapt to catch the tree's lowest branch. His foot searched a hole in the tree's bark to prop him up, and once it was done he started climbing under the girl's marvelled gaze.

After fifteen more minutes, Yato had finally given back the girl's troublesome balloon. He had fallen more than once and his hands had gotten more than one splinters, but it was worth seeing the dazzling smile on her face. "Thank you a lot, Yato-san!"

"Wait," he interrupted her when he saw her heading back towards the children who were with her before. "Are you sure you wanna play with this kind of people? They didn't hesitate abandoning you earlier."

"Yeah, I know. It's okay," said sadly the child, hiding her mouth behind her blue balloon. "They... They leave me behind all the time."

He knelt to wipe a tear rolling down her face. "If they make you cry, then you shouldn't stay with these guys anymore."

"But then I will be all alone..."

"You don't have to be," he smiled confidently. "Trust me, they are idiots if they don't want to stay with a kid as adorable as you."

The girl's cheeks turned pink, the same shade as the rose next to her. "I don't think anyone will want to be my friend."

"Hey, don't say that. It's not true. For example, I can be your friend if you want."

"F-For real?"

"Yeah! Right now it's getting pretty late, so you should go back to see your family, but I promise you we will meet again. Here," he handed her one of his cards. "Call me whenever you feel sad or you want to play. I promise you I will come."

He had never seen a child as happy as the girl when she took the card in her small chubby hands. She then grinned and hugged the god tight before running back home, waving the card proudly to the god every now and then until she disappeared from sight.

"Well done," Yukine smiled at his god. "You might have gotten yourself another follower."

"Not really... She will forget about me soon, I'm sure."

"Weren't you the one who told me that young children could easily see us? Look at how happy she was to finally have a true friend. It's impossible she doesn't remember you."

He wasn't sure she would have accepted if she had known who he was really, though. And her parents wouldn't be rejoiced if they learnt that their daughter was friend with a murderer. A god of calamity, good only to destroy and-

"Yato," Yukine said in that recently monotone and silent voice of his. Yato tilted his head to the side curiously. "You are _not_ a bad person. All your life, you were forced to do whatever your father asked you to do. You were young, too young to understand what your father asked of you, and forbidding you to talk to others made him control you even more. You were bathed in a toxic and unhealthy environment since you were born, and... And also, I'm sorry if the yells of the persons you had to kill still haunt you to this day. It wasn't your fault."

"Really?" he asked in a saddened voice. "I think that I deserve at least that. I had a choice all along, but I-"

"No, you didn't have one," he cut gently. "You were _never_ offered a choice, and that's what so terrible."

"But try to think of it like this. Yaboku was forced to do horrible and terrifying things without even understanding it was bad. It is a fact, but... you are _not_ him. Yaboku was a child manipulated by his father all his life. All Yaboku's sins are his father's, who forced him to do all these things."

"And not only that, but you're not _Yaboku_ anymore. You've cut ties with your past and released Nora to become someone new. You're Yato now, a god of fortune. Never forget that, and also that Hiyori and I will never stop supporting you."

Yato's cheeks heat up. Now that he thought about it, Yukine had become strangely philosophical these days. He would often comfort him when he had had a nightmare and make him some tea and make sure he ate properly before going on a job.

Sometimes, he even felt like the roles were reversed.

Yukine wasn't looking at him, so he pretended the few tears that had slipped from his eyes were tears of pride towards him. It wasn't entirely false, after all. "M-My shinki is so grown-up... _Yuukiiineee!_"

Yukine rolled his eyes and wiped the trail of hot liquid leaking from his mouth with the back of his wrist. "Not now..." he mumbled hurriedly to himself. He clenched his fist. "Not now. Not now..."

"Hm? Did you say something?"

He shook his head. "No, I didn't say anything. Call me, I think we're close enough from the vent now."

Indeed. Yato hadn't noticed it, but Ayakashi had already surrounded them. He blinked twice before chuckling. "Yeah, we're close enough. Come, Sekki!"

* * *

The job went pretty well. Once he had the blades in hand, the duo started to destroy all the monsters polluting the human world one by one, and the fact that Yukine seemed to be even more attentive to the enemies than usual didn't fail him at all.

He gave more directives that usual, and sometimes moved on his own to get an enemy Yato hadn't seen. He was so eager to protect him today... He smiled at the shining blades. He had really found his one and truly shinki, his one and truly friend. "I-I think we're done here."

Yato frowned at his shinki's weapon form. "What's with that husky voice?"

The frown between his brows deepened when he received no answer. He hesitantly called his shinki's name. When he was finally back in his human form, Yukine let out a breath and looked at his god. "W-Why are you looking at me like that, Yato?"

"Because you didn't answer me when I called you," he answered back. It felt like he was seeing Yukine unwell for the first time this week. He leaned towards him and gently grabbed his kid's chin to look his face. Yukine didn't move an inch, though.

How could he not have noticed before he looked so _terrible_?

It was high time to bring him back home. Yukine couldn't have looked so terrible just because of _heat_.

A sonorous clap froze him. "_Congratulations_! No, honestly. I would never have thought that you could hang on for _this_ long. You have my utmost respect for this, Yukine."

The god looked at his panting shinki, confused. "Wh-What is he talking about, Yukine?"

"But I guess your answer hasn't changed, huh? Too bad for you. It's over, now."

Yato braced himself for something terrible, but the continuous threat he had to call father didn't do much, really. He only raised his arm and pointed it at Yukine, and that was enough for Yato's heart to break.

Yukine stayed frozen a moment a loud heartbeat made itself hear. Yato's eyes widened and he paled as dark blood bubbled out of his kid's lips and blight took over his entire skin, starting from his back. He was unable to speak or breathe seeing such a horrible thing. The blight continued to crawl on his skin until it had covered it all.

Blighted from head to toe, Yukine stayed frozen like a statue during three or four seconds before falling to the ground, unconscious and completely limp.

"Shucks... Look at what you've done, Yaboku," said disapprovingly his father. "You murdered one of your shinki _again_. He was so young. I warned you not to get attached, but you never want to listen to me..."

Yukine felt his blood, as well as his life slip through him, little by little, drop by drop. He was a crumpled heap on the ground, blank eyes barely opened, his cheek bathed in his own blood. "It's sad, really... It seems that to save your kid, you will have to do a misogi. Be thankful though, I brought shinki for that! I _told_ you I wasn't evil at all. And you will have an audience too, of course."

Like a vision straight out of a horror film, everyone he cared about was here to see what he had done. Bishamon and Kofuku were here, with their respective hafuri and shinki. He didn't look up to see her face, too focused on Yukine, but the gasp he heard could have been no one else than Hiyori's.

"See? You have Daikoku, Kazuma and Mizuchi. You can do a misogi now! Hiyori-chan will cheer all of you so that none of you dies."

"Y-Yato-chan, what happened to Yukki...?"

Bishamon and Daikoku were pale too, and Kazuma felt like he was being crushed under the guilt of not having told Yato sooner. He should have...

"Oh, Yukine never told you? I have actually reversed your bond when I saw both of you a few days ago. Now the emotions don't go from the shinki towards the god, but the other way around. It's a shock, huh? You felt him happy all this time whereas he was in _agony_. If only you were more observant, you would have noticed that something was wrong."

Yato felt his eyes sting him.

"You would have noticed how he locked himself in the bathroom to throw up, and that he barely slept. You would have noticed that there is almost no medicine left in the house because he took it all so that you don't worry about him."

"H-He did that...?" stuttered Hiyori, sobbing as quietly as she could.

"Yeah... Poor Yukine said that he wanted to protect his master and kept quiet for your sake _all_ this time. If only you weren't what you are... If you weren't a magatsukami, then your kid would be alive now, _Yaboku_."

"I-I d-didn't-"

"It was predictable though..." His dark eyes froze Yato's heart on the spot. "_Yaboku_. You are a god of calamity after all, not a god of fortune. A _murderer_. Something to be feared and hated by gods and humans alike. Only Mizuchi and I can survive by your side."

Fujisaki turned towards his horrified audience, a wide smile stretched on his lips. Everything was going as planned. "Now that you're all there, isn't it a great occasion to learn more about him? He can tell you _everything_ he did during the misogi! He had the most fascinating childhood, trust me."

"I-I..."

"Yato-c-chan?"

"Yato..." wept Hiyori. "His name is Yaboku, Hiyori-chan," he corrected her. "Can you say it? You know, actually Yaboku means God of disaster, and..."

Yukine, still a shivering and dying mess on the floor, had tuned only registered a single word from all they had said.

A misogi? Like the one he had to go through before Yato decided to put him on the rails again? Making – _forcing_ \- his master to bare all his sins, his ugliest and darkest secrets to the entire world?

He wasn't going to let that happen.

Fujisaki's smile disappeared when he saw Yukine's fingers twitch, having thought that Yukine was history already. Feeling a burst of adrenaline, he stood up on his two shaky feet as if the ground had pushed him up and threw an arm in front of his master. "_I won't let you do a misogi!_" he yelled at the top of his lungs, half of his face covered in blood. "_Never!_ I would prefer _dying_ than you having to do that!"

"...How come you're still alive?" asked dumbly Fujisaki.

Yukine's expression turned into something more animalistic and he bared his teeth. "Don't you _dare _forcing him. Leave him alone..."

He searched behind him without looking until his hand found Yato's fingers. He intertwined them and closed his hand. "It's okay, Yato," he tried to smile, but the blood and his tears were probably not convincing. "Don't cry... I promise you I won't let them do anything to you, so don't cry. I won't let him touch you again. Never."

But Yato was too shocked to reply him something. First of all, he had murdered another of his shinki. Yukine stubbornly refused to do a misogi, and it was the only way to save him. He was going to lose him, all because he hadn't listened to Father. What had he just _thought_, naming a shinki and trying to have another family than the one that had been given to him?

After all he went through during his human life, Yukine would be killed by the person he considered a father once again. And wasn't that _terrible_? What had this little miracle ever done to deserve such a terrible master and a terrible second life?

Fujisaki's rejoiced expression crumbled into one of genuine annoyance. "You're seriously starting to annoy me with that stupid_ stubornness_ of yours. It's high time I make you learn, young Yukine, that I am always **right**."


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks a lot for all the people who favourited and followed this story, and of course the people who wrote a review too. There is a review to which I can't answer to personally, so I will write an answer there:**

**To Aofery: Thank you, it's always nice to wake up and read this kind of message! But I noticed that I often get reviews late at night... Sleeping is important! Really, take care of yourselves :)**

**I hope you will continue liking this, even if it's the last chapter.**

* * *

Yukine shot upright with a gasp, fear and horror clinging to each of his bones so strongly that it hurt. Exhaustion and dizziness instantly slammed him back in his bed, where he massaged his temples with the tips of trembling fingers and tried to calm his breathing to a useful level, not hyperventilation.

He let out a sigh when the panic had finally ebbed away. "What a horrible nightmare," he whispered to himself, his heart still beating fast.

"It wasn't a nightmare, Yukine-kun," muttered Hiyori, startling the shinki who hadn't noticed her presence by his side. "I'm... I'm so glad you're alright...!"

"Hiyori..."

"W-We almost lost you," sobbed her fuzzy silhouette. She was saying something else, but there was a static, high-pitched sound in his head that completely blocked whatever she was trying to tell him. So he just blinked at her while his brain tried to process what she'd told him a moment ago.

The blood and the yells weren't just a nightmare then... He couldn't believe that he had lived - _survived_ \- to all this. But she was probably right. The colours that he saw were duller now, and there was something heavy and sad in his chest that he knew wouldn't ever disappear.

"Where is Yato?" he asked in a tiny voice, unknowingly cutting her. "Y-Yukine-kun... I-I'm sorry. No one knows where Yato went, or how he is doing. He has been missing ever since you've been admitted to the hospital three days ago."

The situation was bad. _More_ than bad. Last time Yato had disappeared, it's when he had left for Yomi and almost got himself murdered by Izanami's creatures. And before that, it was when his father forced him to do his magatsukami work. It wasn't happening again.

He threw all the covers away. "I... I have to search him."

"Yukine-kun, be _reasonable_! You just regained consciousness, and you already want to go out?! It's raining outside! Please, lay down and calm down, because you're... you're going to..."

"Hiyori..." Her clenched fists and reddened nose made him hesitantly hug her. "I'm... I'm sorry to have worried you all so much. And not to have told you anything too... But I have to find Yato. Don't you remember when he went to Yomi? We could have lost him there! I just have this feeling that he is going to do something really dumb, and I have to find him before it's too late."

Hiyori only tightened her embrace. "I promise you we will be back soon," he smiled reassuringly. "I won't mess up this time. I still have a lesson to catch up with you, after all, and you hate when I slack off."

"Y-You better come back safely, both of you..." she conceded, hugging the boy again. "Be careful outside."

* * *

Yukine teleported to the first place he thought of. After everything that had happened, after having rubbed shoulders with a past that was forbidden to him and that he shouldn't ever have learned anything about, where Yato had most chances to be was pretty obvious.

As he had hoped, the god was here, facing directly the flowerless cherry tree. Yukine made a mad dash towards him because he had that sick, horrible feeling that he was a few seconds away from leaving forever.

Yukine wasn't sure he had heard right with his heart beating wildly and the thunder roaring in the dark sky, but he thought he'd seen Yato mouth something that sounded dangerously like Father at the phone when he turned his head a little bit. His god's voice was low and he wasn't a lip-reader, so he wasn't actually sure, but going back to his father's side was definitely the kind of stupid thing Yato would do to protect others.

Tears started to sting his eyes when he saw Yato put his phone back in his pocket and his misty sigh disappear in the air. Yukine's arms slipped around his master's waist just in time, just as it was starting to become blurry. Yato took a forced step forwards at the strength of Yukine's embrace.

Yukine barely believed that Yato was still here, and he forced himself not to blink to make sure the black jersey was still in front of him. He tried to catch his breath, but soon gritted his teeth and buried his nose in the god's back to hide his tears. "Wh-Where do you think you're going, idiot...?"

"You woke up," remarked Yato in a small voice.

"Answer _me_!" he cried. _"Where_ were you going?!"

Yato's shoulders sagged, a few raindrops sliding down his already wet back at the movement. "I'm sorry, Yukine, but I have to go. Father gave me a new mission."

"I won't let _you_! Don't you think he has done enough to us by now?! _Yato_!" The god reluctantly turned around, and that's when Yukine was faced with the saddest eyes he had ever seen in his on Yato's face. Intense pity was reflected in his flat and lifeless gaze, and Yukine took a step back before he had noticed it. "Yato?"

"I have to go, I'm sorry."

Yukine slipped his hand in Yato's. "If you leave then I come with you. I won't let you leave alone."

The god's brows furrowed in annoyance at the determination in his kid's eyes. "Yukine, stop being stubborn and go back with the others. This is my problem, and... you suffered enough because of me for a lifetime," added Yato, whispering the last part.

He almost yelled that he _wasn't _the one being stubborn_ right now_, that it was _Yato_, that stupid, idiot, good-for-nothing god who was always making everything complicated, but his dizziness caught up to him and brought him to his knees. Maybe he had left the hospital too soon.

He tuned out Yato's frantic questions in favour of clutching his drenched sleeve, some water squeezing out of the fabric. "Yato, _please_..."

No one moved during a few seconds. Coldness and wind had considerably numbed the shinki's limbs, who barely felt his master move him under the tree, where the branches blocked most of the pouring rain. "Are you alright?"

He nodded without a word. He felt light-headed and sore, but he had to drag a few answers out of Yato before doing anything about himself. "Don't leave..."

"I won't leave," mumbles Yato after a silence. It's not something Yukine should know, because he would be disappointed of Yato or angry or even more disgusted that he probably was, but a lot of things happened during this lapse of three days. Enough for Father to leave him alone a moment, until he decides that he is bored and wants to torture Yato's mind again.

He moved behind Yukine and encircled his slightly shivering, huddled up frame between his arms. He tightened his grip, hoping that he can warm him up a little bit and shield him from the cold. He thinks that it's for that that he holds him so close, but he isn't sure at all. "Yukine, I'm truly sorry for... for what happened to you. You shouldn't ever have had to be burdened by my sins."

Sadness was bleeding through Yato's voice, and something else that Yukine was too tired to decipher. He shifted so that his god's arms covered his eyes. "You... You lived awful stuff, Yato. When I woke up, I thought I'd had a nightmare. I didn't want to believe that what happened was real."

"I'm sorry you had to see all this."

Only a shaky whimper left his throat at this, and he snuggled against the god for more warmth when a shiver went down his spine. How Yato could apologize after this was beyond him, really.

"Say, Yukine, what... what did you learn about my past?" asked Yato apprehensively, combing his hand in his shinki's wet, golden locks. He clearly sounded like he was dreading Yukine's answer, and Yukine shrank on himself more. "Damn Father. He told me that he tried to break you with my memories, and sadistic as he is, I believe that he tried his best to achieve his goal."

Yukine must have seen everything, then. He must have seen Sakura's death, the abuse, the cries, the blood all over his tiny hands, the blades, the tears, and _Yaboku_.

"I..." He inhaled, letting the cold air go to the bottom of his lungs. Somehow, the coldness seemed to slow down his heartbeat as well as the burning emotions in his body. "I didn't learn much, I promise you..."

Yato's tongue clicked. "Don't lie to me, Yukine."

"It's true, Yato! It was... I mostly felt down all the time, and I couldn't see anything else than what your dad put in my head. I remember that... he yelled a lot at you, when..."

"When what?"

"When the woman with beads in her hair... When she turned into a monster." Yato stopped breathing altogether. "I heard you call her several times, but I could never remember her nam-"

"Do you know _why_ she turned into a monster or not?" Yato's eyes were so intense, it felt like they were glowing with urgency and fear; Yukine hadn't expected him to react so strongly to what, to him, was only a mundane piece of information.

"N-No, I don't know," he stuttered. "And judging by your reaction, it's better that I never know."

"Yeah," laughed humourlessly the god after a silence. He couldn't _ever_ know. "Sorry for freaking out..." A sniffle made him frown, and he turned to see Yukine trying his hardest not to let his tears fall. "Yukine, what's wrong?"

"I was so scared..." he mumbled to himself, and Yato's eyes glassed over. He could understand where this fear came from. He'd had centuries to get used to the sickening feeling of his sins crawling on his back. He'd had centuries to finally understand that he wouldn't ever be someone or something good, something else than a toy, to cope with his grief and shames. And even now, when something resurfaced too suddenly, he realized that maybe he wasn't doing such a good job at mastering his emotions so that no one would worry.

But Fujisaki had dropped a ton of misery on Yukine's still weak shoulders in a second. It was no wonder that he had been crushed by this.

He bit his lip uselessly and curled into a tighter ball as more tears fell on his cheeks, mixing with the raindrops already there. "_I... I was terrified, Yato! I thought I was going to die!"_

He pushed away the voice in his head, the voice of _'Look at what you've done again, Yaboku.' _to cradle Yukine in his arms and rock him back and forth until he was done crying. But it felt endless, the few tears that Yato managed to wipe quickly replaced by new, cold raindrops.

The rain didn't stop for a full hour, hour during which both god and shinki tried to piece themselves back for the sake of the other under the dead sakura.

* * *

"You're back, Yukk- _Yato-chan?! _You're h-here too?!"

"Yeah," he rasped in a scratchy voice, wondering a second if he had caught a cold by staying out in the storm for too long. Well, whether he had one or not, he wasn't going to take care of it before Yukine got better. He carefully lowered his dazed shinki to the floor. "I kept him outside for way too long, he is soaked. You have to dry him, and-"

"I think you misunderstood something," growled Daikoku. He stomped in front of the door and crossed his arms. "_We _have to dry him? _You_ stay here too. Move a freaking _inch_ after disappearing for three days and worrying my goddess and I will kill you."

There was a fierce worry shining in the older shinki's eyes, something that Yato wouldn't have ever thought he would see directed at him after the ugly revelations that happened a few days ago. He let Kofuku and Hiyori take care of his kid for an instant before he smirked at him.

"Don't tell me _you_ were worried about _me,_ Daikoku," teased Yato with a mischievous smile. "Me, the pathetic, good-for-nothing god unable to find himself a shrine or a proper way of living who is always squatting your house for food?"

"Damn hell I was," he barked back immediately. Yato's expression crumbled into one of surprise, not expecting him of all people, to sound so worried. "After whatever happened, you just disappeared without saying _anything_ to _anyone_. You think we weren't worried about you?!"

There wasn't _anything_ to worry about in this empty shell of a person. And holding all his pain back and never show it or share it with anyone was pretty much all he had done throughout the centuries. He couldn't help it if he had taken the habit of doing everything alone. "I'm sorry, Daikoku."

A few seconds passed, and Yato thought Daikoku was probably gauging the honesty in his statement. But then he tsked and stormed out of the room.

He sighed and looked at Yukine, who was still shivering despite being in front of a heater and the fluffy and warm-looking towel draped on his shoulders. Yato hesitantly reached out and took it to dry his hair in slow movements. "I'm sorry to have kept you out for so long. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he whispered, freezing on the spot when these words left his lips, exactly like someone had slapped a restraint on him. These words that he had repeated, recited so often recently brought bile to his lips that he struggled to keep down. He would _never_ be fine now; how could he? How could he after everything that had happened, after knowing in how much pain his master was in everyday and all the time?

He shook his head as if he was trying to shake this idea off. "I'm okay, now. I'm okay..." But the only sound of his tears falling to the wooden floor was the only thing Yato could hear.

Yukine had gone through this mess without physical injuries, or not too much, but he knew it must have been beyond painful to live that. His younger, frail, trembling silhouette took Yukine's place during half a second, and a piece of his heart shattered.

* * *

Opening the door of the spare room upstairs revealed a form similar to a corpse laid on a bed that, upon closer inspection, was actually an asleep Yato. Kofuku gasped at the pitiful sight, and Bishamon made a small grimace.

"Hiyorin, is he..."

"He is okay," she smiled. She ran a hair in the sleeping god's hair. "After ten minutes of arguing that he was _fine_ and didn't need this, I convinced him to stay there a moment... That dummy fell asleep the second his head touched the pillow."

"He really, really doesn't look good," mumbled Kofuku, all traces of her usual cheeriness gone. "He looks like he is going to disappear. And his eyes were strange too when he arrived home."

"Do you think he killed again...?" wondered out loud Kazuma. Kofuku looked at him with wide eyes, but Daikoku only sighed. "Don't make that face, Kofuku. it's very likely that he did. Yato's father would never have left Yukine alive if he hadn't come to make one of his twisted missions again."

A deathly silence fell in the room. "I want to help Yato... I just want to help him, but almost each time something bad happens to him it's _my_ fault. It's all because he wants to protect me from everything. I-It's not _fair_. Wh-What has he ever done to deserve all this...? What kind of hafuri am I if my master gets hurt because of me...?"

"Don't blame yourself for this, Yukine," sighed Bishamon. "You're already doing a great job in protecting him, you know? You saved him in more ways that you can understand."

Kazuma arched an eyebrow at her, wondering what exactly she meant by this. But it wasn't something he could understand either, being in the same situation as Yukine was. He probably wasn't aware of how, but he had saved her too. "No matter how much you love him and wish he was safe all the time, you can't protect him from _everything_. There is too much happening to him."

"But he deserves to be happy too. It's not _fair_," he sniffled, and Kofuku knelt to rub circles on his back.

They knew that they couldn't even begin to understand what Yato had lived all this time, and even living it personally had not enlightened Yukine much. Only haunting thoughts that he wouldn't wish on anyone and hazy, bloodcurdling memories remained from this experience. And when Yato was _always_ doing his best for everyone, when he showed a childish, carefree façade to the world, it felt so unfair to feel like this inside. He deserved happiness as much as anyone else on this planet, maybe more.

Even if Bishamon was right, even if he was indeed doing something for him, he wished he could do more.

* * *

His sluggish brain barely registered Hiyori's soft voice when she spoke to him. "How are you feeling, Yato?"

He was so sleepy that he didn't want to tire himself more by opening his eyes, even if it was to see her face that he had missed. He couldn't feel his body at all. "I'm fine..." he answered, his face half-buried in his pillow. "How is Yukine?"

"He is okay. Thankfully he didn't catch a cold by staying outside for too long... and it's good that you didn't catch one either." Yato peeled one of his tired eyes open, and could only see her legs now. "And if you're feeling fine enough to move then let's go! Yukine-kun and the others are waiting for us at the restaurant."

"Restaurant? What are you talking about?" he moaned, huddling under the covers more. "Let me sleep five minutes more Hiyori, _please_..."

"No you w_on't_. You just said that you were feeling fine! Come on!"

"But I'm _tired_... Can't they all come here instead?"

"Of course they can't, I just told you that they were at the restaurant! Everyone is _waiting_ for you, Yato, so hurry up and get out of that bed immediately!" Hiyori's fists clenched when she saw the god snuggle more under the covers and moan something else to her.

She yanked them off without an ounce of pity, and Yato yelped at the sudden coldness assaulting him. "_Hiyori_!"

"I have had enough of your laziness, Yato. Get a change of clothes and rejoin us at the restaurant _immediately_. I will send you the address on your phone."

The god thought about arguing more but one look at Hiyori's face made him change his mind entirely. "Y-Yes ma'am."

He waited that the danger that the young woman was sometimes left the room to sit up and stretch. He had no idea of how long he had slept, but it was night now. He let out a sigh and got to his feet, starting to search through his belonging something that he could wear to go out, something _dry_, unlike the wet clothes that stuck to his skin to some places.

Reluctance and dread at the thought of facing others now that they _knew_ turned his search in something closer to dawdling, though.

A burning shame lit his skin on fire at the thought of Yukine, or Hiyori, or any of his hardly-earned friends looking at him like he was some kind of dangerous and disturbed monster that should be locked somewhere for all eternity. Yato himself _knew_ that. He knew that he was a horrible creature, so why Fujisaki had had that need of breaking the illusion that he was a god of fortune to the others?

The weight in his stomach got heavier and heavier as his thoughts darkened and darkened, to the point where he fell and couldn't stand up anymore. He stayed frozen on the floor for an unknown period, unable to breathe, until he felt someone's hands shake his shoulders.

"Yato!" called a worried voice. He looked up from the parquet to look at his kid. But he didn't any of the concern reflected in Yukine's eyes, so he looked away. "Sorry. I'm really sorry, but I don't think I can go."

"What are you talking about? Why couldn't you..." Yukine trailed off when he caught a glimpse at the look in his master's eyes. "Yato, we _organized_ everything for you. You can't _not_ come."

The god stayed silent, and Yukine slipped his hand in his master's larger one. "Yato, listen to me. It's mostly to have a good time together and for you to think about something else than the depressing thoughts that you dwell on every day that Bishamon-sama proposed to go there. Don't... Don't ruin everything like you often do and just _relax_, okay? Breathe. I promise you it will be okay."

"Okay," he breathed.

He beamed a fake, broken smile and tugged Yukine's hand to scoop him up in his arms. "Aww, my kid's so worried about me! He is such a sweetheart!"

"_What?_" he squeaked. "Let _me_ go, you creep! Hiyori just brought me here because she was hungry, like everyone else, and that you were taking ages to come! If it meant being touched by your dirty, sweaty palms then I shouldn't have come at all!"

"Nah, you're lying! You came because you're worried about me and because you love me from the bottom of your heart!"

"Not _true_!"

"Yes it is! _Yukine_, my precious little h-a-f-u-r-i, he _loves_ me," sang the god, taking a great amount of fun in watching Yukine's face turn scarlet until the latter got enough and shoved him away and started to bark him to put clean clothes on to finally go.

A smile found a way on his face before he had even noticed it. He had missed falling back in their dynamic of tough love and family more than he thought.

* * *

A joyous moment at a restaurant. It is what it was supposed to have been in theory, but Yukine had underestimated Yato and Bishamon's capacity of arguing.

"I just can't believe you," he growled as he finished putting his pyjamas on. "You just _had_ to provoke her, didn't you?"

"I didn't provoke her!" repeated the god for the umpteenth time this evening. "I was just warning her!"

"You told her that she was _fat_! Do you have a death wish?! If she'd had her pistols with her, she would have murdered you in the middle of the restaurant!"

"Okay, first of all I didn't tell her that she was _fat_. I only warned her that she would get _fatter_ if she ate too much," explained calmly the god, as if he tried to make Yukine understand. "And second, it was just a friendly warning. She needn't throwing a plate at my face."

"You don't say people _that_, Yato. Even if it's just a friendly warning as you say."

The god stuck his tongue at him before turning away from him in his futon, wincing when he laid on his bruised side. Bishamon had thrown a plate at him; there was no way that he wouldn't fight back. But soon their fight escalated, and when Yato crashed on the table of a couple who'd been dining quietly, they had all been banished from the restaurant.

Now, all that remained were the bruises, and given how painful they were, Yato was starting to regret to have had the thought of riposting.

"You're an idiot," said Yukine casually as he settled in his bed. Yato blinked at him an instant. "We should bring you to the hospital to check if there's indeed a brain in that head of yours."

"Why don't you go sleep in your own bed?"

"The lamp is _broken,"_ he groaned, hiding his blush under the covers. "And I don't like sleeping without it. Daikoku-san said he would repair it tomorrow."

Yato chortled. He would have to check if that lamp was indeed broken. "Well, I trust you. Mind if I ask you something, though?"

"It depends."

"Why didn't you want to do a misogi?" Yukine's breathing hitched at the sudden seriousness in Yato's voice. "Whether you liked it or not, a misogi would have been the only way to save you. You're aware that if Father had decided that you weren't needed anymore, you would have died, right?"

"I..." Said like that, it sounded pretty dangerous. "I know that. I know, but your father was manipulating you, and-"

"Yukine, I'm not talking about _me_ here. I'm talking about _you,_ about you being stubborn and-"

"You didn't want to go through one, so I wasn't going to force you!" he snapped. "Your dad wants to kill me anyway, so what tells you that he wouldn't have just killed me afterwards?! You never take care of yourself Yato, and I'm sorry you got mad if I do! I didn't want you to feel worse than you usually do!"

Yato blinked at him, and Yukine slowly advanced to hug him. He let out a shuddering breath, stopped by Yato's chest. "I know I can't do everything for you. I know that there are some things you can't tell me, things that you have to struggle with on your own. But I want to help you. I-I'm really not good at this stuff, but..."

"You saw how they all acted when we were at the restaurant, right? Bishamon-sama, Kazuma-san, Daikoku-san and Kofuku-san, and Hiyori too. No-None of us think less of you or i-is disgusted by you or a-anything your father put in your head, and... and we wanted to show y-you that our relationship wouldn't change, no matter who d-does what to us. We all love you, and I... and I _love_ you, Yato, even if I d-don't always show it. You're very strong, a-and I admire that in you. I-It will never change. A-And also-"

"Shush," laughed Yato, pressing a finger against Yukine's half-open lips. "Don't teenagers have a quota of emotional stuff to say? I think it's good now."

But Yukine was strangely persistent this night. The blush on his cheeks darkened, but he continued speaking. "Don't think you can d-dismiss me l-like that. I-It's important, Yato. You have t-to know that-"

"I know that already," he smiled, wiping one of Yukine's round cheeks. "You needn't repeating it. And I thank you all for this."

Yukine looked at him, suspicion clear in his orange eyes. But then Yato smiled and lowered his head to kiss his forehead, so he thought that he had got the message and fell asleep with a sigh against Yato's chest. He wasn't sure, but getting this off of his chest may have made him feel a little bit lighter.

He looked at the moon.

So they loved him, huh. After knowing how much of a bad person he was, they _still_ loved him. Now that he thought about it, they had indeed acted normally around him earlier. No one had flinched or pulled a face at being next to a magatsukami, and he was still surprised at that.

And even Yukine, his shinki that he put in agony, that he almost _murdered_ \- he got too attached once again, Father warned him but he didn't listen once again - still loved the awful, dirty, weak-willed person that he was with all his heart. But they had all come a few centuries too late.

It was too bad that Yato didn't love himself. Not anymore.

* * *

**Six chapters is long, though XD**

** I tried writing two endings for this, but I prefer this one. Not by much, but it's better. Well, less _worse._ Seeing one of his shinki almost die once again broke Yato - more than he already is - and as sad as it is to say it, I believe he never really loved himself, so that's why I wrote this ending line... I know it's not great, though. But I'm still learning, okay XD**

**Thanks a lot for reading this all, and have a nice day ;)**


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